And now, in honor of my own profession--
The Twelve Days of Christmas for Lawyers
On the first day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the second day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the third day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the fourth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the fifth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the sixth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: six scales a-weighing, five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the seventh day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: seven partners skimming, six scales a-weighing, five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the eighth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: eight ways of bilking, seven partners skimming, six scales a-weighing, five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the ninth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: nine judges glancing, eight ways of bilking, seven partners skimming, six scales a-weighing, five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the tenth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: ten jurors sleeping, nine judges glancing, eight ways of bilking, seven partners skimming, six scales a-weighing, five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: eleven DAs griping, ten jurors sleeping, nine judges glancing, eight ways of bilking, seven partners skimming, six scales a-weighing, five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me: twelve PIs slumming, eleven DAs griping, ten jurors sleeping, nine judges glancing, eight ways of bilking, seven partners skimming, six scales a-weighing, five golden rulings, four brawling jailbirds, three cheap pens, two bloody gloves, and a bill for a monstrous fee.
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